le dimanche 21 avril
2013
8時、快晴、23℃、70%。カタンガ晴れ。
昨日は15時半から雷を伴った驟雨。一時止んでから17時半には豪雨。滝の如し。
ネット契約が明日月曜日に切れるとメイルが入った。学習効果がVodacomのサーヴィスにあらわれたのか。そうあって欲しい。しかし、まぁ、期待薄。
8時、ネット、不具合。DL(download)が旨くいかない。不通と同じだ。日曜日。15時、回復の兆しなし。
17時半、ネット回復。奇跡かね。
南アで先住民ズールーのカップルが4月6日結婚式を挙げた。チェポ・モディサネTshepo Modisaneさんとソバ・シソレThoba Sitholeさん。二人とも27歳、但し同性、青年男子同士の結婚だった。チェポさんはツワナ民族でシソレさんがズールー民族だが、式はズールーの伝統に則ってとり行われた。南アでは2006年の家族法改正以来ゲイ・カップルの結婚が認められている。アフリカで最も先進的な制度である。丁度、フランスでも民法を改正して同性婚を認めようとしているが、反対する国民の声も多い。
チェポさんたちは家族を形成するために結婚するのだそうだ。養子をとるには結婚しないと難しいのだろう。相思相愛なのは結構であるが、僕は時間が経ってこの結婚が間違いで離婚するということになったらどうするのだろうと思う。親権はどちらが行使するのか、円満に分かれることができるのだろうか。本人はかまわない。子供はどうなるのかと心配する。
同性愛は死刑だとする国もアフリカにはある。南アでもゲイ・カップルは奇異の目で見られるだけでなく、排斥の対象になりやすいらしい。チェポさんは、ゲイ排斥の考えをアフリカに持ち込んだのは西欧植民地主義者たちであるという。しかし、逆に、同性婚を認めだしたのも、オランダやベルギー、スペインなど西欧先進国で、ネオ植民地主義者の国々ではないか。
結婚は契約であると思うから、基本的に自由であるべきで、従って性の問題(ヘテロ、ゲイなど)を考慮しなくてもいいはず。契約は神との契約でもあるし本人同士の契約でもある。契約であるからには継続も破棄もある。伴った責任もとらねばならない。
チェポ(左)とソバさん スールー民族の結婚式 |
Le premier mariage
homosexuel traditionnel Zoulou en Afrique du Sud
Tshepo Modisane et
Thoba Sithole se sont mariés devant près de 200 invités. Alors qu’en France le
gouvernement vient de voter en faveur du mariage gay et de l’accès à l’adoption
pour les couples homosexuels, l’Afrique du Sud vient de célébrer ce qui serait
le premier mariage traditionnel gay.
Les deux hommes se
sont en effet mariés selon un rite zoulou, entièrement vêtus de costumes
traditionnels. A 27 ans tous les deux, Tshepo Modisane et Thoba Sithole ont
choisi de célébrer leur union comme le faisaient leurs ancêtres.
Le mariage homosexuel
est légal en Afrique du Sud depuis 2006 et le pays est généralement considéré
comme le plus avancé du continent africain en matière de droits civils et en
particulier sur les questions
LGBT, et ce malgré la réalité de la discrimination et de la violence
généralisée contre les gays et trans. (La France n’en échappe pas non plus).
Tshepo, est audit
manager tandis que Thoba est un spécialiste en informatique. Ils envisagent
d’adopter des enfants : « Il est important que nous ayons des enfants […] la
famille est importante pour nous ».
Ils aimeraient que
leur exemple puisse inspirer les personnes de leur pays qui ont du mal « à se
réconcilier avec leur sexualité ».
La famille de Tshepo
Modisane et Thoba Sithole a soutenu leur union. Un bel exemple de
réconciliation sociale, familiale et culturelle que la presse nationale et
internationale a justement largement diffusé.
(関連英文記事、英語)
Thu, 14 February 2013
A Gay
African Love Story
Thoba
Sithole and Tshepo Modisane
On a
continent where homosexuality is often seen as foreign and unnatural Tshepo
Cameron Modisane and Thoba Calvin Sithole are loudly proclaiming their love for
each other. Meet this proudly gay and engaged-to-marry couple who're determined
to live and love freely.
The now
27-year-old men first met and became friends while studying in Durban but lost
touch after Tshepo returned to Joburg. Thoba, who is originally from KZN, later
moved to Gauteng in 2011.
They then
bumped into each other at the Sunninghill Virgin Active gym, reigniting their
friendship and becoming gym partners; supporting and motivating each other in
their workouts. "We were helping each other with weights, training
exercises and eating health plans," explains Tshepo.
The
chemistry between them grew and they soon realised that they were becoming much
more than friends. "We finally made it official and were an item,” says
Tshepo.
“The great
step that we took in our relationship as a gay couple was introducing each
other to our families. We are so blessed to have supportive families who care
about us. Even though we are gay they still love us."
The
relationship strengthened and, one Friday evening at home in June last year,
Tshepo proposed to Thoba. He accepted and the couple decided to do things the
African way; respecting the traditions and customs associated with marriage.
"We
communicated our intentions to get married to both our families as we wanted to
have a traditional African ceremony and also have a traditional Western
'fairytale white wedding,’” explains Thoba.
With their
families’ support, the couple have set the date of 6 April to have the African
ceremony in Thoba’s hometown of Stanger. They expect over 200 guests and the
guys will dress in their respective traditional clothing (Tshepo is Tswana and
Thoba is Zulu).
“Since we
are both men we have decided that neither of us will pay lobolo. The most that
we will do is to buy gifts for our parents as a sign of appreciation for
raising us,” says Thoba.
They plan
to have their white wedding later in the year in Johannesburg as a more
intimate ceremony and are determined to have children through a surrogate.
“Family is
important to us and that is the number one reason why we want to have children.
We also want our children to grow up in an environment where they are loved
greatly by both parents who appreciate them,” says Thoba.
The
relationship has become something of a cause célèbre in KZN, with a local
newspaper celebrating their upcoming nuptials as the area’s first legal gay
marriage with a front page feature.
Tshepo says
that one of the reasons they’ve chosen to be so open is that they "hope to
inspire people out there who are still struggling to come to terms with their
sexuality”.
"We
see no reason to hide in darkness as if there is something to be ashamed about.
Our marriage is largely symbolic and a sign that black gay men can commit and
build family through a happy and loving marriage,” he says.
Thoba
chimes in that “This is who we are and we are just tired of people judging with
no understanding. We are people and entitled to live life to the fullest”.
He adds
that as a couple, “we have never felt any negative reaction that was blatant to
our face. Most people have largely been supportive and excited about our
union”.
They both
agree, however, that there is a lack of openly gay role models in South Africa,
especially among people of colour. "People are still ashamed because the
vast majority of the black community is not accepting of being a homosexual.
They see it as largely being a 'Western trend' that is in fashion lately,” says
Tshepo.
He goes on
to add that he has no problem being seen as a role model. "If our action
of getting married and being bold and proud about it is emulated by more
members of the LGBTI community who are black, then so be it. If people are
inspired by our love and actions and want to do the same to follow in our
footsteps then we don’t mind being labelled as ‘role models’ in the LGBTI
community.”
Tshepo
believes that “More and more members of this community who hold positions of
influence need to come out so that people become aware that being a homosexual
is not some disorder or curse from God”.
Thoba
agrees: “Hiding who we are is what makes people judge us even more and makes
them not accept us for who we are. If we can just live life openly then in time
people will get used to the idea that gay and lesbian people are part of
society and we are here to stay."
They scoff
at the widely held notion on the continent that being gay is un-African and
somehow brought here by the West.
"We
grew up in a township and homosexual people have always been around us even
though they were ridiculed by members of the community," says Tshepo,
arguing that it’s discrimination, through colonial laws and attitudes, that was
imported to Africa.
"Studies
by historians and anthropologists have found same-sex relationships to have
been in existence in pre-colonial Africa,” he argues. “Most Africans need to
stop making excuses for their own fears and embrace that same-sex relations
have been happening in Africa since time immemorial.”
They see
Valentine's Day as “a wonderful day for celebrating love” but also believe that
“each and every day should be Valentine’s Day” between people who love each
other. They’ll be marking the day this year by having a romantic dinner for
two.
Romance is
something that they say helps keep the spark alive in their relationship.
“Tshepo is very romantic and not afraid to show his love,” says Thoba.
“I think
one of the most romantic things that he has done for me was writing a poem that
was dedicated to me which brought tears to my eyes as I knew that it came from
the heart. It is the small simple things that matter to me the most.”
Tshepo says
that what he most loves about Thoba is "his calm and humble spirit. I love
the fact that he takes care of me. I love the fact that he is sexy and I can
rely on him as a partner that will always be there for me. His love for me has
no begining and no end. We share a common goal and vision about the kind of
life and future we want to live in.”
When asked
what he most loves about Tshepo, Thoba says that he adores the "fact that
he is really smart and wise beyond his age. I love the fact that Tshepo is goal
oriented and driven about the future. Not forgetting the fact that I find him
extremely sexy - and his six pack stomach as well. Tshepo cares a lot about me.
I have experienced his love and it genuinely comes from the heart.”
Tshepo and
Thoba are part of a new generation of young gay Africans who are determined to
claim an equal space in their communities. Through their actions, words and
love for each other these two men express the common humanity we all share.
They inspire us to hope and dream that in an ideal world love may indeed
conquer all.
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